Comments on: The Black Box

By: writerwoman

writerwoman — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 00:04:00 +0000

I really like this line-
When I was young, my life was free and clean.

Childhood is like that.

By: janetleigh

janetleigh — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:46:00 +0000

For some reason, half way down, I thought your bane might be your Inbox. It seemed all too familiar.. ;> I enjoyed reading this.

By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 15:32:00 +0000

Thank you. It was kind of a joking poem, it isn’t supposed to sound eloquent, is meant to be almost satirical and the trite phrases were intentional.

But thanks for the feedback, maybe one day I make it into something real!

By: Brian

Brian — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 15:27:00 +0000

Hi Anna,

I like how the poem opens... it is a sentiment that we can all relate to. And I like the overall feeling created by the poem.

"I wonder what dark letters I may find"

is my favorite line.

I think the poem could be strengthened in a bunch of places by changing up some commonly used words or phrases like

"my heart feels weary pain"

and others like it, which describe how you are feeling, but don't really paint a picture for the reader.

By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:12:00 +0000

Yeah Andrew, I guess this happens to all of us. Blasted papers. I saw something else today:

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” -
Winston Churchill

By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:11:00 +0000

Haha – thanks. It is my Inbox! Just not my email Inbox. Haha. Was a bit of comic relief for me.

By: J. Andrew Lockhart

J. Andrew Lockhart — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 02:39:00 +0000

“Where papers wait, to tear my mind from work …”
This happened to me yesterday!

By: Biotress

Biotress — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 18:46:00 +0000

Great poems!

By: S. Thomas Summers

S. Thomas Summers — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 18:40:00 +0000

emotion drip trough this lick a thick syrup – enjoyed your passion.

S. Thomas Summers

http://www.freewebs.com/sthomassummers

By: S. Thomas Summers

S. Thomas Summers — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 18:38:00 +0000

Emotion drips though this poem like a sweet syrup: fear, anger, love, etc. Enhjoyed the passion

S. Thomas Summers (a Poets Who Blogs poet)

http://www.freewebs.com/sthomassumers