And my back wants to break,
My head wants to scream.
Let me awake
From this maddening dream.

The ramparts are shaking
The bricks want to fall
My spirit is breaking
I can’t hold them all …

Please don’t forsake me,
Please come and fight.
Please come and wake me
Deep in the night.

Tell me its over,
Sing me a song.
Its time to come home now,
It’s been much too long…

- Written by Anna Vera Williams at Age 33

I’m breaking glass
Inside my head.

If I bang my head
Hard enough
And long enough
Into the wall,

If I throw enough jars
Around my room
And crash them into
Shards and hell,

Would you make
This be a dream.
Wake me up.

And then I’ll say
“I had a dream,
You had to go.”

And let me curl
And hold you.
Warm, protecting, safe, and strong.
“I had a dream but I was wrong.”

- Written by Anna V. Williams

Take me away
To your far away land,
Buried like dust
In the prints of your hand,

Where your smile doesn’t crack,
And fade,
Before the hours
Draw into days.

I lay in the bed
Of a perfect stranger.
I played with his words,
Mimicking danger,

And he begged me to tell him
My endless verses,
Beneath the morning’s
Sleepless curses.

His fingers played
With the curve of my side.
I told him of
The day I died ―

A secret I guarded
So closely from you.
I told him the truth.
I told no one I knew.

Written by Anna Williams at Age 17
Washington, D.C.

I left, the day you disappeared,
To the mountains, sharp and sheer,
Where the air was cold and clear…
I thought I’d lost you; thought you’d gone.

I recall I heard a sound,
You said my name, I turned around,
Long ago, the night you found me,
When you came to Tashkurgan.

I wrapped myself in your embrace,
And while you slept, I watched your face,
Wondering if this was the place
Where I could stay. Where I’d belong.

I recall the night I cried
Because the people said you lied,
And the quiet way you tried
To tell me that it wasn’t true;

And in Gulmit, I spoke coldly.
I recall the things you told me.
That night you only came to hold me,
But I was afraid of you.

Days went by, the sky grew white,
You came to me no more at night,
I could not smile, I could not write.
Flames of pain within me burned.

I swore I would drown the embers.
I swore I would not remember.
And I left you, in December.
I swore I would not return.

I recall the things you said.
Your voice was harsh. Your heart was dead.
Songs of sadness filled my head,
And again I was alone.

Years have passed. I feel the same.
I recall the night you came
To Tashkurgan and said my name,
Long before you turned to stone.

In a distant desert town,
I sat on the dusty ground.
I was happy, till you found me,
And my eyes were bright and blue.

When my heart is filled with thunder
In the night, I sometimes wonder
How you tore my world asunder
…Why I still remember you.

Now I read these words you write,
And I lie awake at night,
Wondering if I ever might
Travel back to Tashkurgan.

I recall the day it started,
And the silent way we parted.
I swore I was not broken-hearted -
I imagine I was wrong.

- Written by Anna Williams at Age 22

I lay down for the night,
And I turned out the light,
But I knew you were thinking of me;

So I lit up a candle
Took a book from the mantle,
And I read of the Antarctic Sea;

And I tried to erase
The imprint of your face
From my tumbling and torn memory.

In the morning I woke.
In my mind your voice spoke,
And I wished you’d forget about me.

And the hours went by,
But as hard as I tried,
I couldn’t stop thinking of thee…

The streets filled with rain,
And I fought with the pain,
Why hadn’t you forgotten me?

The sky filled with thunder,
And I started to wonder,

If you really
Were thinking
Of me.

- Written by Anna Williams at Age 26

Since I still know you…
I finally found you.
A long time ago, you
Wore music around you.

Caught in a spell;
Trapped in time, tied
You’ve gone through hell
Since the first day we died.

Before the skies parted
And gave us our youth
To lose…and the world started
We knew the truth.

Life fell apart, and
We learned to forsake…
And made ourselves hearts
For each other to break.

Beauty abused now, but
Blackness ascends
I’ve grown confused
And forgotten my friends.

I recall when I lived
Only to roam.
All I knew then was I
Searched for my home.

Deep in the desert
Where I watched the sky,
Dancing blue waters
Were lies to my eyes.

Alone ‘neath a star
Or asleep in a tree,
I was lost, faded, far…
Now I found you. I’m free.

Before the light faded
Remember the laughter,
The love we created,
Not the Disaster.

The worlds you made loved you,
And they will find you,
For they live within you
They don’t lie behind you.

- Written by Anna Williams at Age 22

Almost six years ago,
Under the sky,
I watched the stars
And I swallowed a sigh.

You spoke of sunshine
And laughter and life…
I remained red-eyed,
Saddened with strife.

The wind of your woes was
As much as I heard.
I sent you two roses
And whispered a word.

My life lived inside me
When your life was near.
And my heart faded
When yours disappeared.

There were spirits inside
Your eyes flickering like fire,
They would rise, and then die,
And then trembling, rise higher.

Alone in the morning,
I stood with the wind.
I stepped out inside me
And silently sinned.

I spoke into the sea.
I woke wondering why
I saw inside me
The whole thundering sky.

I turned, telling none,
Found the hills, flew away
Far from the sun,
And the brilliance of day.

Many years waited,
And I waited longer.
And yet, unabated,
The silence grows stronger.

And violence still flanks
Us for so many years,
Since we last sank
Into ashes and tears.

I try to remember
The sound of the snow
The smells of December
I knew long ago…

I try to see faces
I forsook too fast,
And to believe places
Of faraway pasts

Are not lost forever;
Forgotten, or wrong.
For I prayed I never
Would forget a song.

Six years ago I stood
Under the sky,
Within it no longer
I’d learned not to fly.
I watched you wilting
And tried not to cry.

If you wander, wondering,
After six years,
With all the world’s thundering,
Wrapped in your tears,

And if you find me,
Hide deep inside me.
Try to remind me
Of what lives behind me.

If you should meet me
Someday again,
Death won’t defeat me
Like it did then.

There’s no one who knows us.
And when the dawn’s done,
You send the roses,
And I’ll send the sun.

- Written by Anna Williams at age 22

- Written by Anna Williams at age 22

Written by Anna Williams at age 22