And my back wants to break,
My head wants to scream.
Let me awake
From this maddening dream.

The ramparts are shaking
The bricks want to fall
My spirit is breaking
I can’t hold them all …

Please don’t forsake me,
Please come and fight.
Please come and wake me
Deep in the night.

Tell me its over,
Sing me a song.
Its time to come home now,
It’s been much too long…

- Written by Anna Vera Williams at Age 33

It doesn’t matter if I cry
You have to go away.

I can scream
For death and hell;
It doesn’t go away.

I can dream
That all is well.
It doesn’t make you stay.

Damn the world,
Your wife needs you too
Tell them to go away.

Damn the truth,
The world’s gonna die
If you don’t go away.

Written by Anna Vera Williams
- 8 February 2008

I’m breaking glass
Inside my head.

If I bang my head
Hard enough
And long enough
Into the wall,

If I throw enough jars
Around my room
And crash them into
Shards and hell,

Would you make
This be a dream.
Wake me up.

And then I’ll say
“I had a dream,
You had to go.”

And let me curl
And hold you.
Warm, protecting, safe, and strong.
“I had a dream but I was wrong.”

- Written by Anna V. Williams

Yield no whisper
Of remorse,
Give no sign
That you endorse

The fables of
The ancient wives,
Who kept their men
And lived their lives ..

The crossing bears
No one-way bar.
But shut your eyes,
And touch your scar,

Remember what
The madman said.
You just live once,
And then you’re dead,

And happiness
Is all a myth,
The road ahead
Is clouded with

Monstrosities
Who can’t be changed.
So label them.
They can be named.

The madman said
You can’t repair
Your love or life …
But you’re aware

Deep down below
The cloud of cries,
That life holds hope
That these are lies …

The choice is yours,
To live or burn,
To hear the lies
Or to return.

- Written by Anna Williams at age 32

This free poem is a Found Poem, written per the prompt at stoney moss: Found Poetry.

The item used to “find” this poem was the DMV Driver’s Manual.

P.S. No marriages were harmed in the making of this poem. I have no idea where I came up with the idea for the poem to be about a divorce. Maybe it was the DMV manual’s idea.

My heart feels calm,
My feelings clear;
The world seems simple,
When you’re near.

- Written by Anna Williams at age 32

I wish he would come home to me.
Its been a year, too long, you see.
I can not bear another day.
I wish he hadn’t gone away.

And when I cry, he can’t get mad,
Nor say I want him to feel bad.
Because he is so far away.
I wish he would come home and stay.

I wish that when I woke at night
And couldn’t sleep, he’d hold me tight.
And kiss me on my eyes and face.
And crush my bones with his embrace.

And calm my heart. And laugh away,
The torments of these insane ways,
That follow me wher’er I go.
I miss him and I love him so.

My poem is a corny rhyme
Because I have not so much time.
My stomach lurches, my hands shake
I wish I was too hard to break.

I wish I was like him, so calm.
Even when these things go wrong.
Happy, strong, and carefree too.
I say, “One day, I’ll be like you.”

Which day that is, I cannot see.
I want to feel alive and free.
And never sleep again alone.
I wish my husband would come home.

Written by Anna Vera Williams in Autumn 2007

I imagined you’d say
That you’d got off the plane,
You’d decided to stay.

Or that maybe, you’d say
That you’d had to return;
Or that someone had learned
That you shouldn’t have gone.
But my image was wrong.

It was only the sheets.
It wasn’t your feet.

- Written by Anna Williams at age 32

Take me away
To your far away land,
Buried like dust
In the prints of your hand,

Where your smile doesn’t crack,
And fade,
Before the hours
Draw into days.

I lay in the bed
Of a perfect stranger.
I played with his words,
Mimicking danger,

And he begged me to tell him
My endless verses,
Beneath the morning’s
Sleepless curses.

His fingers played
With the curve of my side.
I told him of
The day I died ―

A secret I guarded
So closely from you.
I told him the truth.
I told no one I knew.

Written by Anna Williams at Age 17
Washington, D.C.

Young and strong and free at last
From pain. And growing far too fast,
Yet not too young to have a past.
I never speak about it here
I seldom voice a hidden fear
Or whisper to the quiet stars
Or weep for all that beauty mars
Or whistle by the amber mountains,
In search of purple salt-less fountains.
Listen far across the hills
And barefoot by the mountain rills
For a faint and distant sigh.
Torn by time, and death. And lies.
If you glance within your heart
You may tear your life apart.
You may justify your sin …
Search for angel dust within.
It may kill. It may heal.
The treasures of the sky grow real.
Break away mid earth and fire.
Give to glory’s deep desire.
In the frail moments of youth,
Every lie breathes unwashed truth.
Naught matters past reality,
Hard, correct and fancy-free.
You can sing false pleasure’s hue.
You can pierce me through and through.
Draw a blood drop from my eye,
Make me love you, make me cry …
Still I remain, as light friends tend,
Yet the same, unscathed, unbent,
But hardened for the next hard mile,
To the next unfamiliar smile,
And trust it not, as children would.
Though, God knows, how I wish I could.

For I am taught. And taught by thee.
Enlightened in reality.
With little left to do but pray
For the dim and distant day
When naught is yearned or questioned why
But the clouds who roam the sky.

- Written by Anna Williams at Age 17
Prague, Czechoslovakia

I left, the day you disappeared,
To the mountains, sharp and sheer,
Where the air was cold and clear…
I thought I’d lost you; thought you’d gone.

I recall I heard a sound,
You said my name, I turned around,
Long ago, the night you found me,
When you came to Tashkurgan.

I wrapped myself in your embrace,
And while you slept, I watched your face,
Wondering if this was the place
Where I could stay. Where I’d belong.

I recall the night I cried
Because the people said you lied,
And the quiet way you tried
To tell me that it wasn’t true;

And in Gulmit, I spoke coldly.
I recall the things you told me.
That night you only came to hold me,
But I was afraid of you.

Days went by, the sky grew white,
You came to me no more at night,
I could not smile, I could not write.
Flames of pain within me burned.

I swore I would drown the embers.
I swore I would not remember.
And I left you, in December.
I swore I would not return.

I recall the things you said.
Your voice was harsh. Your heart was dead.
Songs of sadness filled my head,
And again I was alone.

Years have passed. I feel the same.
I recall the night you came
To Tashkurgan and said my name,
Long before you turned to stone.

In a distant desert town,
I sat on the dusty ground.
I was happy, till you found me,
And my eyes were bright and blue.

When my heart is filled with thunder
In the night, I sometimes wonder
How you tore my world asunder
…Why I still remember you.

Now I read these words you write,
And I lie awake at night,
Wondering if I ever might
Travel back to Tashkurgan.

I recall the day it started,
And the silent way we parted.
I swore I was not broken-hearted -
I imagine I was wrong.

- Written by Anna Williams at Age 22